


i'll risk it once again to have you near my side

by gayxiaolong



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/F, JanuRWBY, Post-Volume 5 (RWBY), Yangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayxiaolong/pseuds/gayxiaolong
Summary: It was hard to buy into Weiss’ promises of ‘when she comes back’ until she saw her standing there.And, now, here she was. It’s almost too much.***or, Blake being back is All That Matters to Yang.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 2
Kudos: 93





	i'll risk it once again to have you near my side

**Author's Note:**

> JanuRWBY Day 2: Favorite Soundtrack Song
> 
> Title and inspiration from All That Matters from the Volume 5 Soundtrack

_You're lost, you're found_

_You're hard to pin down_

_I never know if you'll come through_

_Then you appear_

_Together we're here_

_And that's_ **_all that matters_ ** _somehow_

The view from her balcony in Kuo Kuana is, by all measures, beautiful. The setting sun casts shadows on the rooftops, a dwindling orange light bathing her hometown in warmth that matches the weather. She can see the market from here, venders packing up for the day surrounded by a crowd far friendlier than you’d find in the kingdoms. This city always felt like home, its inhabitants treating her and her family like they mattered. Being here now, though, left her thinking of her other home.

Blake knows that she was the one to leave. She knows that she was doing this for a reason, that Yang couldn't get hurt again, that it was all her own fault. All those reasons were burned into her- carved into her skin by herself, by Adam, by fate. She's reminded every time her right arm feels a pain that her own wound could never hope to replicate. From all the nights she wakes up in a sweat, her heart failing to slow, from the visions of blonde curls and easy smiles that haunted her dreams. From all the moments she looked to her side expecting to see lavender and sunshine staring back at her, met instead by faces of strangers in Menagerie. 

Blake knows that she was the one to leave. That doesn't stop her from looking. When Sun goes to bed the first night and she's finally alone, she looks at her scroll. Yang's name, followed by a heart, followed by the three words that begin to haunt Blake: _Out Of Range_. She knows that the tower fell, of course. There's no way she could reach her. That doesn't stop it.

After days of this, after nights of being bathed in blue light from a screen she knows won’t change, she doesn't know if what she's feeling is pain or relief. If Yang were able to contact her it would be impossible to not pick up. If she were able to call Yang, that urge would be so easy to give in to. That doesn’t make it easier.

Blake has run all her life, from her family, from Adam, from her team, from Yang. This time feels different. This time, she didn’t run _from_ anything- there was nothing to escape, no one to defy. There was just Yang. There was only light, only softness, only a future she let herself daydream about. This time is different. Instead of memories buried down, every thought she has, every memory brought forward, every inch of her burns gold. 

There’s no universe, no timeline, where it’s easy to leave her. The Blake of every universe has found their Yang, and the lucky ones get to stay with them. This version of her, she knows, won’t be a lucky one. Princesses thrown to the sea, lovers sacrificed, a girl too scared to stay by her side- they’re all fated the same way.

Yang should hate her for the rest of her life.

***

Yang would probably love her forever.

That's the only thing she could think of in the months after Blake leaving. Watching flowers bloom and leaves fall, seeing snow cover it all, Yang’s gaze out of her window in Patch was only a backdrop behind thinking of Blake.

It would’ve been so much easier if she hated her. If she were just mad at her for leaving, or angry about her arm. The anger she could deal with- the fire roaring in her veins is a warmth she’s long accustomed to. The loneliness was far harder. She lost a partner. A partner she did everything with, that knew all her secrets, that she was falling in love with. They grew closer and closer until, like everyone else, she left. 

There was no taking back first dances, first crushes, first anything. There was no chance of forgetting late nights at Beacon- the nights in Blake’s bunk bed spent talking until warm light poured into the windows. There was no coming back from the rush she felt every time Blake walked into the room. There was a future, a _something,_ always there but never named. That dream left when Blake did. 

But then she came back. A new moment took over her thoughts.

_Yang?_

Blake’s return is all Yang can think about now. The softness in her voice, the shock in her eyes, the way it was her name on Blake’s lips in a room full of friends- the memory stays, played over every moment Yang has. It had been so long since she heard her voice that her knees almost gave out on the spot. It was hard to buy into Weiss’ promises of _‘when she comes back_ ’ until she saw her standing there.

And, now, here she was. It’s almost too much.

So much of this is old. The way Blake falls back into the team habits like they’ve trained together every day; the way Blake’s eyes catch hers in every moment they can; the way she looks at Yang like the world turns for her. So much of this is new. The way Yang is aware of every nerve in her body; the way she catches Blake holding onto her right arm like she feels pain there; the way being around her is fraught with unnavigable emotions.

Blake is intoxicating. Yang’s whole world glows alight in her presence. At Haven, they brought Blake in for a hug, and just her fingers on Yang’s arm was enough sensation to keep her from sleep that night. She didn’t know how she felt until Blake left, until they weren’t together. This sensation, this _knowing-_ it's so much. Knowing she’s here, not knowing if she’ll leave again, knowing how in deep she is. Every second feels like holding your head below water- the rush, the weight, the burn.

It didn’t matter to Yang if it hurt, if her skin burned in an unfamiliar way now- she was _here_. 

Blake sits in front of her now, a world apart in only a few feet. She sits on the countertop in the kitchen of their Haven house. Yang watches her gaze fall to the floor, lost and hazy, holding a book in her hands that she’s too tired to read. They stand alone, the rest of their team scattered. Weiss and Ren pulled the others away a few minutes prior, uttering half-convincing excuses about needing to pack for Argus.

She makes her way to Blake now, stepping over words unsaid and grudges abandoned. When she gets close, Blake comes into focus. She sets her book down, gold meeting lavender with apology written over her every expression. 

“Hey,” Yang says, reading lame and pathetic against all the words that should be falling from her lips. Blake doesn’t seem to mind, though, a smile beaming at her that almost meets her eyes.

It’s impossible not to fall closer. Months of separation - months of wanting and tears and hurt - gave way to where they are now. The pull, the invisible string between them, tightens regardless of how Yang needs space, needs room to breathe. Yang steps closer than she ever would have at Beacon- a _want_ fated and given back to her.

Yang can feel the way Blake sighs into the space between their lips. The gap dwindles, the tension stretching. She can’t figure out how she’s still breathing, how she hasn't collapsed on the floor, how her heart still beats.

A familiar warmth surrounds them, sparks emanating from Yang’s hair. Her head feels weightless, the feeling that accompanies her aura in overdrive. Blake’s eyes move up from her lips, catching her eyes, and she sucks in a breath. The eyes that stay fixed on Blake are still lavender, the heat and flame out of sync with the color. 

It’s too much; the way Blake’s golden eyes look up at her without expectation, the way she finds herself back here after so long alone, the way a new mix of emotions are pooling in her stomach at the thought of kissing Blake. She could so easily reach forward, cup her face and give in to all she wants to do. She could let the flames surround them, let Blake feel her warmth. She could ignore how _much_ this all is. 

Instead, she steps back. Instead, a tear runs down her face, evaporating from the heat before Blake can wipe it away for her. Instead, she watches Blake’s parted lips close again.

With space between them, a distance she chooses for once, words make their way through the fog. She relies on honesty, too tired for half-truths and brushing off. “My heart is still too broken to give back to you right now,” she says with her voice low, hardly filling the space between them. 

“Back to me?” Blake’s voice cracks, barely above a whisper. Golden eyes find hers in a plea, in hope of a past confirmed, a future promised, a _something_ named.

“Blake,” she says like a prayer. 

“Yang,” she answers like a promise. 

“It was always yours,” Yang turns to leave- not catching Blake’s sigh, her shiver.

Blake’s fingers brush across the metal of her right arm, steady enough to keep Yang from leaving.

“I’ll be here,” Blake promises, bringing her fingers to her lips- a soft kiss against metal that Yang wishes she had more sensation in. With a look in her eyes that Yang wants so badly to give into, she continues, “when you’re ready.”

Yang stands there a moment too long, lost in thought. Blake retracts, an apology already forming on her lips- stopped only by the shake of Yang’s head, the way Yang moves to lean against the counter next to her.

“Tell me about Menagerie,” Yang bridges the gap. An invitation, a hand extended, worth it for Blake’s smile alone- something she knows, even without asking, hasn’t been on her face in a while.

Suddenly, it doesn’t matter that she left. It doesn’t matter that Adam was out there, that everything was uncertain. There’s a future here, again. There’s something real in promises and golden eyes and hands in hers. She has time to forgive, she can get back to normal, she can grow again. Blake is _here_. 

Maybe that’s all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> happy janurwby !! let me know what you think, comments make my day <3
> 
> you can find me on twitter @gayxiaolong as well :)


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